Don't Let Me Run From You… But from ME!

Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Hebrews 12:1

God help me run to you.... break my habit of me.....I need help, and sometimes it is the hardest thing to admit. Let me ask you, and please be honest with your answer, do you feel the same way?

I have been a runner all my life. But not an actual runner on a track, but from life. Until God opened my eyes to He could handle ALL of me.The ugly parts, the messiness I try to hide, the flaws I pray you don't see, and the voices in my head. God is not scared of what chases after me or what I chase after. HE pursues me anyway and longs for me to run into His arms. So, let's get deep. What about you? Who do you run to?

Today I look at life differently than I did years ago because God changed my perspective. He opened my eyes to the race of my life and the journey of healing that I venture daily alongside Him. I will always be a runner at heart, but today, I only allow myself to live today, and I run to Him, my Abba Father because He understands all of me. He loved me at my worst, and when I mocked Him and had no desire to follow anything about Him and bragged about being the devil's stepchild, He poured forgiveness over my poison. He still watched my steps, pursued me, and put angels in front of me to protect me from harm because now I see death could have won. How I am not six feet under or behind bars is beyond me except by God's grace.

I dare you to open your eyes to what you run to or who you run to. Search yourself this upcoming week or when you are full of fear, where do you run to? If you know me, you know poetry is my language, and let's dive in.

Help me run to you and run from myself. I'm breaking as I keep repeating, please Father help me run into Your arms and away from me, It's a habit I've had longer than I know I hate to admit it, but I know how to mess up more than to fall on my knees and ask for Your help So, God please hear my cry for help. I am just a human, a human who has been hurt and is hurt. My first thought is to make it stop but HOW! Where do I run to numb this pain? Tears fall. My insides get tense and it is hard to breathe. I shake back and forth to remind myself I am alive. I put my hand on my heart and hear God whisper, "Daughter, slow down I have you. Just close your eyes. Picture an image of a Father with His arms stretched open wide where you can run to. Now run and get lost in them because any worry, any doubt, any fear I can handle. Daughter, don't hold onto them to where you can't breathe. I can handle all of you, just come to me as you are right now, whether it is midnight or early morning, or even noon. I see you, and I am ready. Because daughter, you can't change you. You can't become who I have created you to be without me. Daughter, those arms spread wide are to show you love was what my son illustrated on that cross. Please don't miss this, but understand to run to me in any condition and away from you. Remember always God's ways are peace, and He has a perfect plan you won't understand, and you are everywhere with no destination. Keep your eyes open to the enemy whose prowling and waiting to destroy you at any given chance. So tighten your armor, and stand and let God fight your battle. Remember child, when you are weak, pray. Father, help me run to You and away from me."

I know sometimes when I am blank or not wanting to write, I run from the feelings I have deep inside not wanting to put them on this page. As I type this, my heart is pounding because I just hit a nerve and called myself out. Now, there is no turning back but allowing my fingers to type and heal what is breaking inside because I have learned God speaks to me as the pages fill up on my laptop in front of me for my eyes to glance at.

I am scared of God's best.

I run from good things.

I am terrified but excited about God's plan.

Today, I run through the pain head-on, uncomfortable.

I run to courage and hope instead of numbing feelings.

I run to healthy relationships instead of dead-ends.

I run to the living water well to fill up when I'm empty.

I run to the Father instead of the world.

What would your list look like if I asked? Is your heart beating and is God speaking to you? He sometimes uses one runner to another to open your eyes to get your attention, but here is the cool thing, God's ready, are you? Do you wanna run to hope or destruction, you only have one life. How do you want to be remembered when you take your last breath? Hard question maybe, but it gets you thinking. Get honest with yourself.